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Mr. B’s Blog: Poker Problem

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Dear MrB,

I have a problem…every time I play poker and get a good paw, although I  can easily keep a poker face, I can’t help from wagging my tail with excitement. My wagging tail is a dead dog give away which, so far, has caused me to be on the hit list of Guido, a big bad dude of a dog, who is sniffing around to take seven of my treats for every one I get.


Dear BDD,

Son of a pun!!! Are you pulling my paw with your tail of woe????

If you’re not, and you can really hold a poker paw (without opposable thumbs), then I think your treat multiplication mess is very treatable as follows….just bear with me, here, and follow my scents, in case I’m making any at all with this advice:

If you can really hold a poker hand with one paw, then take the other paw and hold your tail steady while you play through. If you’re a two paw  player, I suggest that you sit on your tail, during the whole game, to keep it from giving your excitement away.

Pawsonally, if I were you, I wouldn’t ever gamble with my stash of treats.

Let me pawt it this way….If you’re a medium sized or big dog,  with a pawpose, you can get (and keep) lots of treats, with much less effort than gambling, just by doing some simple tricks or by trying to look pawthetic from time to time.

If you’re one of those small breeds, also called dogs (only heaven knows why), with bows in their hair, who get carried around everywhere, you can probably get as many treats as you want, just by pretending to be somebody’s “baby”.

THAT pawdicament would be HIGHLY embarrassing to me!! Butt (as you know I love butts)…..Every dog’s gotta have a gig….not to mention (butt I will) a place to dig.

So although I don’t play cards myself, I know one thing as sure as I know where I buried my Person’s wonderfully smelly socks last year, if you keep going like this, without taking my advice about your tail or giving up gambling: YOU’RE GOING TO WIND UP IN THE PAW HOUSE!!

Lots of sloppy kisses,


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