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Mr.B’s Blog: Good Dog, Bad Dog

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Dear MrB

My person says “Good Dog!” and “Bad Dog!” when I’ve done….I’m not sure…you see I’m a puppy and I get so confused about what I’m supposed to do sometimes.

Take shoes, for example, and so many have been taken from me that I can’t even begin to count…not that I can count anyway….but getting back to shoes, let’s just say that I LOVE them because they smell SHOE VERY GOOD!!!

My problem is this: Why am I a “GOOD DOG!” for chewing a squeaky toy that looks like a shoe or a chewy toy that squeaks like a shoe, but a “BAD DOG!” for chewing shoes, especially when I only chew one of each pair.

Also, I don’t understand this matching shoe fetish my person has and why I’m not a “GOOD DOG!” for making more pairs out of the one chewed shoe of each pair. As I see it, if I chew one shoe out of each pair, there are still lots of pairs left, or right, that may not match, but my person can get lots more pairs out of any original matched pairs, if she would just realize that she can wear lots of unmatched pairs at different times.

I Woof You,

Plenty of Pairs of Problems

Dear POPOP,

The answer to your problem is a shoe in….so I hope you will chew on this possible resolution:

You have a Four Footed Shoe Fetish that makes you count, see, and pair things differently than your person. I know that our persons have these weird ideas about shoes having to match, but since they are the leaders of our packs (unless you’re the family cat, but let’s leave THOSE catty relatives out of the picture), it seems clear that we have to pair our actions to their rules if we want treats, ear scratching, and tummy rubs.

That said, maybe if you’re lucky, your person will give you a pair of unmatched shoes (or several if you’ve done your job well so fur) as your very own to chew to your heart’s content.

Pawleeze keep us all pawstead on your pawgress and remember that humans may be weird but those that love us are wonderfur nevertheless.

Lots of sloppy kisses to you,

MrB

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